“Actions dictate feelings – not the reverse.”
Dr. John Trent has worked with dozens of couples over his years as a counselor. One common thread he’s found is this – love is a choice. It’s a choice to put your spouse’s needs above your own. It’s also a choice to bless them.
One of the common blessings is the “keep dreaming” blessing. Does your spouse want to travel and minister overseas? Do they want to start writing professionally? Do they want to overcome a habit or harmful practice? You can bless them and commit to supporting them as they work toward that dream.
The dream can also be a daily, practical thing. John and his wife Cindy had dreamed of working out together but were unable to do it for much of their marriage. Now they go to the gym together and choose to live out a healthy lifestyle as a couple.
It’s not always easy. John calls us to work through conflict in order to get to a place where we can support each other’s dreams.
“The stronger person initiates the peace. Meaning if you just sit and wait forever., nobody will move. But the stronger person initiates the peace.”
What if our spouse struggles to join us because of fear or another hindrance? Pray, wait, and lovingly encourage them. John says your support will grow dividends in your marriage.
“It’s so hard to not love somebody that steps in to your dreams and says ‘Hey, you know what, this isn’t my total favorite thing to do, but we’re doing it. We’re living the dream.’”