I’ve always believed in God, in Jesus, but, as I kid, I felt that going to church was just something you had to do. I guess you could say that I believed by it was in my mind, not in my heart. I was married but I messed that up, I went outside of the relationship, which I regret and am not proud of. My wife stayed with me but welded the affair as punishment and I felt that I deserved it. I lived like that for nine years. Then, I started to listen to small doses of Christian radio as some attempt to save my soul, to find peace, to find God. Gradually, I dropped all other stations but my talk radio and Christian music. As I was driving to a job-site, I heard Plumb (Lord I Need You Now) and United (Touch the Sky). At the job-site, my technicians were constantly calling me for help troubleshooting as I was trying to do my own work, overwhelming me. At one point, I bang my head against a door and say “God, I can’t do this.” In that moment, not even half a second, I felt the darkness leave me, I was flooded with light, and I felt like God was telling me that I was forgiven, to stop punishing myself, to live my life. Living moved me to Sioux Falls. My ex didn’t want to move, opting to go separate ways. I’m new, I have my two dogs with me, I haven’t met many people, but I have found a church and gotten to know many people there. I’ve even volunteered to help with various projects, not for glory or recognition, but to help; if I help, in turn, they’ll help me but having me interact with those around me, making this move feel less lonely. I feel like a different person; I still have my problems and struggles, but nothing is impossible and hope is not lost.
Imposter Syndrome can affect people by causing feelings of self doubt and insecurity despite accomplishments and success.