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Relationships

Stay positive

When your thoughts are positive, you become a positive influence in your life and in the lives of those around you. The same is true if you think negatively because you can become a negative influence on others. In fact, negative thoughts can take over your mind and block out the truth of who you are. Living an Intentional Life is about…

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Slaying the dragon of self-hatred

One of the most frequent problems I deal with in counseling and coaching is self-hatred. People often tell me, “I know God loves and forgives me, but I can’t forgive myself. I hate myself.” Self-hatred is every bit as much a sin as other-directed hatred. We are all God’s image bearers and, although we might not like aspects…

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Healthy boundaries

I grew up a good Dutch Reformed girl in the lovely town of Pella, Iowa, where people are expected to be well-put-together, responsible, hardworking, God-fearing and independent.  I never got in trouble.  People liked me (at the least most seemed to like me).  And I genuinely loved God and desired to follow His commands.  So,…

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You can’t make me angry

You can’t make me angry. I have an anger problem. However, I made a decision some years ago and it’s been life-changing for me. Here’s a conclusion I reached. Try as you might, you can’t make me angry. For me, that decision has made me a better, kinder, more-relaxed person. It took me a while to get there, and I’m still…

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The relationship reset

Sometimes the emotional, frustrating, grief-laced and often crushing experiences that come with the ride of a difficult relationship cause us to want to get off the roller coaster and walk away. We don’t want to deal with the pain and process of working it out. Sometimes the anger we feel has us acting out in ways that make it hard…

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Audio

I love my mom, but…

With Mother’s Day over, some adults may be dealing with fresh wounds associated with a poor relationship with their mother. Sure, she raised you well and she’s good at making cookies, but there can be some facets of a mother-child relationship that can really act like a stick in the mud in the effort toward the two parties…

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The relationship reset

Sometimes the emotional, frustrating, grief-laced and often crushing experiences that come with the ride of a difficult relationship cause us to want to get off the roller coaster and walk away. We don’t want to deal with the pain and process of working it out. Sometimes the anger we feel has us acting out in ways that make it hard…

on

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