Men, tell me if this sounds familiar: You wake up on a Sunday morning (wishing you hadn’t stayed up nearly as late as you did), drag yourself to church (or your wife drags you), sit in a pew (or in the most uncomfortable chair ever designed), sing a few songs (wondering why they sound like they were written for a significant other), listen to a few prayers (hoping you don’t fall asleep), wonder how much of the game you’re missing (is it sacrilegious to check the score during the service?), nod off a few times — you get the picture.
Why is church so darn boring? Why don’t you actually look forward to it?
Author David Murrow has written Why Men Hate Going to Church, and says that with all the uninteresting activities, ‘Jesus-is-my-lover’ worship music, and sharing your ‘feelings’ (whatever those are) in small groups, it’s no wonder men hate going to church:
“Our messages tend to focus on the softer side of Christ — relationships, love, nurturing…we tend to underplay his miraculous power.”
“Churches tend to be decorated in soft colors; pastels. They feature quilts and felt banners and communion table with a lace doily and fresh flowers…”
Murrow suggests that the solution is to make subtle changes — not doctrinally — but in the aesthetic nature of the church:
“When a man walks into a church, he’s decided within five minutes if this is something for him…it’s that first impression that will either cause a man to be uncomfortable the whole time he’s visiting, or cause him to settle in and listen to the Gospel and actually be changed by what he hears.”
Murrow recently discussed this topic further; you can hear the conversation below.
David Murrow founded Church for Men in 2005. Murrow is not a pastor, professor or theologian. He’s just a guy in the pews who noticed a disturbing trend: churches are losing their men and boys. So he wrote a book titled Why Men Hate Going to Church, which became an instant Christian bestseller, with more than 100,000 copies in print. His efforts have spawned articles in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and the Chicago Tribune, to name a few. You may have seen him on PBS, the NBC Nightly News, or the Fox News Channel talking about the gender gap.