Are you in danger of having an affair?
Dave Carder says if you say you are not, than you are even more susceptible.
Dave is a pastor and counselor specializing in couples devastated by infidelity. He shares what adulterers want you to know about protecting your marriage. Listen for a discussion on Close Calls: What Adulterers Want You to Know About Protecting Your Marriage, and learn how to avoid the dangers facing every married couple and protect your life together.
Is it possible for someone to be innocently and ignorantly prepared for adultery? Yes!
Dave explains that although many Christian men and women don’t intend to commit adultery, it happens when it’s least expected.
“There is a blindness and entrapment that begins to occur that you just don’t see arising in this particular relationship that maybe you’ve been developing over time.”
We can use the analogy of a ‘web’ to understand how easily we can get entangled in infidelity.
“We use a picture of a web that gets built between two people innocently and ignorantly and it contains the kind of things that we all do out of kindness and generosity sometimes. ”
Dave share a few ways that the web starts to be built that we need to be aware of:
• Saving topics of conversation for this person.
• Sharing some spousal difficulties with the goal of improving your marriage.
• Anticipating future interactions with this person.
• Providing a special treat, such as a cup of coffee, because they’ve been working so hard in this ministry you share.
• Spending more alone time with this person than your spouse.
Although most of these scenarios have innocent beginnings, they can lead to the gradual building of a web of entanglement that can be detrimental to your marriage.
“Besides a web of entrapment it’s also web of support where you start sharing emotional things; troubles, hard times that you’re going through, etc. and as you do that it just begins to close on you like the frog in the kettle – you know you just don’t even realize how close you are to dying.”
Christians are just as susceptible to falling into the web of infidelity, but there are valuable precautionary steps to take in protecting your marriage and honoring God’s design for it.