I moved to Sioux Falls to be near my oldest daughter and her family in January 2016. My youngest son and I share an apartment here. After 32 years of marriage, I was and still am in the midst of a bitter divorce. 18 months ago in November 2015 my husband left me without a word. Didn’t know if he was dead or alive for 3 1/2 weeks. Things had been very wrong in our marriage for quite some time before that. Heated arguments (putting it mildly) and cursing were the norm. I discovered after he left the extent of his involvement with online deviant sexual behaviors. Our finances were in shambles. We lost our house to a sheriff’s sale and we were also involved in a business that was like a sinking ship almost from the time we took it over. There were thousands of dollars of wages that were left unpaid along with a large array of other debts. Members of my family helped me clean up the immense physical mess left from the business and as a result of that business I am now in the process of bankruptcy. Even worse than that, it turns out I was as addicted to my husband as he was to his demons of pornography, homosexuality, and other online “adult” sites. I was an enabler – BIG TIME! He was the focus and center of my life rather than my Lord Jesus.
In December 2015, a few weeks after my husband left, a close friend told me that things would get better. I remember thinking “yes they will get better – when I die.” All hope was sucked out of me and I filed for divorce. I even went to an all time low point two months after that of putting a plastic bag over my head. I feel ridiculous admitting that now. I thank the Lord I took it off. I look back at that now and see that as my turning point.
Since then I got plugged in to a widespread network of support. First and foremost, I started to develop a real and personal relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus. HE is the ONLY One who will NEVER leave or forsake me! My relationship with my four adult children and three precious grand children has grown and I am ENJOYING life and the gifts God has in store for me! My siblings have been a tremendous support to me throughout my journey. I sought help from a Christian Counseling Service here in Sioux Falls. I was a part of a Divorce Care group. I became intensely involved in awesome ladies’ Bible Studies by Beth Moore and Priscilla Shirer. I have my literal “war wall” of prayer (rather than war room because I live in an apartment and I don’t have a room to spare – Lol). I have a job that I love and I am seeking out volunteer opportunities. I plug in to Christian concerts and movies. I am encouraged on a daily basis from the messages that come from the Holy Spirit through the artists and songs on Life 96.5 – the ONLY radio station I listen to! And yes, as my wise friend once told me, things are getting better.
Yes, I still have my down days and my down moments, but I now have the assurance that my Lord is with me in the calm and in the storm. There is so much more to my story, and at some point I might be able to share more chapters about the woman I once “was”. The encouragement and hope I would like to share is that no matter what, you and I have a God of grace, love, and mercy who treasures us JUST AS WE ARE!! Open your eyes…see Him…reach out to Him…He is waiting for you with arms open wide!
Crowder tells of new music, humor, and the importance of laying down your burdens.