My panic attacks and depression started about a year after I had an abortion. It took me years to believe God forgave me for that sin. But that sin still affects me to this day. It’s been 8 years since I had the abortion and I struggle to this day. In the past years I had been admitted to Avera Behavioral Health in Sioux Falls for having suicidal thoughts. It wasn’t until I found the love of my life, who so happened to have a dad who is a pastor. I truly started believing I could never be forgiven. Then my in laws and my husband helped me so much to see how truly AMAZING our Lord and Savior is! They encouraged me to listen to 96.5 and let me tell you, this music is wonderful. It’s what I listen to 90% of my time I listen to music. Like others have said, God directs what songs to play just when you need to hear them the most. I have learned so much over the past almost 4 years being a part of my in laws and husbands lives. Going to church now isn’t a chore, it isn’t something I dread. If I miss a Sunday, it actually affects me. Now, I just struggle with forgiving myself and the man who took me to get an abortion. I still have anxiety and depression, I still have bad thoughts, I am seeing a therapist. But I am comforted by the forgiveness of Jesus Christ who GAVE His life for that very sin. Clearly my values and decisions didn’t match up and it still hurts today, but my life is led by my SAVIOR. Not by the choices I’ve made. I hope this message can prevent an abortion from happening, and help others see that if you have Christ in your life, if you choose to put Him as your first priority everything else will follow. He brought my husband and his parents into my life at the exact time I needed them. I really wanted to die because I thought that that was it. But it’s NOT! It’s never the end! Never give up! PRAY. WORSHIP. NEVER GIVE UP!

One Response to "Bailey’s story"

  • Jami says:

    Thank-you for sharing your story. I too had an abortion. I was sixteen years old. I struggled with the shame and guilt of that decision for 25+ years. I knew that Jesus died for our sins but could not believe that His death covered my sin – the murder of an unborn child. Even after a pastor announced in a service that “even the woman who had an abortion so many years ago is forgiven” I continued to struggle with depression and anxiety. I overate or drank to numb the pain – I didn’t want to deal with the feelings of guilt and shame. I was so unhappy and angry but couldn’t see it at the time. Only now looking back is it all clear. I tried counseling, and self books but nothing changed until I surrendered all. I cried out to God telling Him I couldn’t do it anymore. I gave it all to Him. I was instantly pulled out of the deep and have been living a joy & peace filled life every since! I get up early every morning to spend time with Him – praying and reading His word. I listen to Christian music all day long – it’s so uplifting! He is so good! Keep seeking Him!

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